deviations on a theme.

Every day

Is further reinforcement that I have no place here. That I am not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not trying hard enough. That I’m wasting my time, my money, my life, and all in pursuit of god only knows what. The sky is falling and I can’t get up. I am tied to the tracks.

This space intentionally left blank.

Hello Internet.

I wish I could say I’ve missed you. Welcome back anyway. I suppose that means expect new shit.

The blood of a lost cause flows through these veins

god knows i’ve longed to feel something, but now’s not the time
caught up in the heartless disorder of a friday night

someday i’m bound to feel guilty, but now’s not the time
i’m sure i’ll get what i’m due, everything will be fine

one day i’ll find myself facing the firing line, serves me right
for the record i’ve written my crimes

lord have mercy on my soul
i’ve had a good run but can’t run any more

all the world’s a cage and we are animals, pounding on the glass
housebroken, declawed, unaware of the threat

all the world’s a maze and they are scientists, plotting every move
big brother will keep us in line, with snipers on the roof

focus, throw us at the feet of the fools
you don’t know how lucky you are that your life is so characterless

just because you have figured it out
doesn’t mean it won’t happen to you
just because you’re afraid of the dark
doesn’t mean that it’s frightened of you

i’d like to devour my heart for some material
but i’m a drunk and a coward a crook, i haven’t changed my ways

can’t mute the virus once it screams your name
i’m chained to guards at the gate for the sake of the king

the gravity of the battle means nothing to those in peace
i can’t believe i thought my thoughts meant anything

where do you get off loving life as if it’s done any of us any good

the sky is full of zeros and ones

the static crackles across the clouds and the night is alive with an untapped fury, a menacing scent of burnt copper and blood on the breeze. walking through the city, alone with the other lost souls - the bound, the broken, the kids who lost faith trapped behind glass - I look to the east and wonder if the sun will ever rise again.

Even the stars have gone out.

uninspired, at best.
at worst a constant screaming;
slow-motion car-crash

a trick of the light
a mirage in this desert;
pedal to the floor

discard this message
faint scent of faraway fire
hit the lights; we’re on

these words mean nothing
a disappointing footnote
eternity waits